It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
BRING THE BAGELS
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
