i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
