dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This is not my ceiling
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize