If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
