She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
