where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
