Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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