I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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