I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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