I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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