Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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