I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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