I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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