just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
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There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
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Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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