i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
