Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
