Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
