I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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