we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
