Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
