i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize