Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
