Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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