stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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