I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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