There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
