The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize