is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm like, not good at living.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
