I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
