You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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