I wish I could teleport
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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