Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
