Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
