i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
