Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
