Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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