Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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