It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need moral support for this bender
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
