I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
