Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
