My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My penis needs a shock collar
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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