She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
