You're so nebulous sometimes
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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