my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize