i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
