There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize