but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
