this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Who died my cat blue again?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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