i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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