I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
