There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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