she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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