If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
