Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
