Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
