I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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