We got so high we made milksteak
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
