Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
